things have gotten better, and best of all, AMANDA CAN GO OUT TOMORROW. joy. hahaha.

so well, it all started with a little bit of initiative this morning, by asking my mom whats her point of view on why she is unhappy with me going out. it took me a hell LOT of courage to ask that question, and i was shifting my butt here and there on the market chair. after a really long time, i finally asked. i stammered and ate my words up, but i thank god she heard it anyway. she told me that she was unhappy by the fact that i'm always with my friends, that my friends are top priority compared to family. she also feels that i hang out alot, and i tell her my plans the day before or on the day itself. most importantly, each time i'm not in for dinner, she'll feel as if she has lost a daughter.

i sort of didnt get it at first, but i felt like crying anyway. i dont understand why i always feel like crying in front of confrontations. its really irritating.

so there i was, trying hard to listen and make sure i dont cry. after she was done, i did alot of thinking. i stared into space and hoped to find a solution to it all, and bring up even more courage to say 'sorry' but i didnt. after a while, she said,' amanda you want a piece of bread?'

i was really touched by this. i almost died trying to hold back my tears. after all the nasty things i've done that probably made her so heartbroken, she's offering me a piece of BREAD.!

after that she headed to work, but i knew what i'm supposed to do now. make sure she's happy and i obviously have to tell her my plans before hand and well, spend more time with the family.

she met me and my bro at parkway earlier and i've decided to get a nice tee for my mom since she made my day with just a piece of bread. she was really happy, i feel. i hope i've made her day((:

because of this, my mom agreed to let me out tomorrow to treat piggy and weichan. this is such a happy ending. of course, i can't be complacent. this MUST continue.! ((:

i'm missing piggy.! i get to see my dear piggy tomorrow:D