yes yes I know I've just blogged earlier but I just cant seem to get it off my mind.

I dont know why I'm so touchy today. Little things piss the shit out of me, make me so irritated and make me feel so.. sad. I feel like crying to anything stupid or actually, crying to everything that I DON'T cry over. It sucks really. Is this what people call, 'PMSING'.?! I'm so sure this is.

I don't know. So many things running through my mind now, and I cant seem to even like, see what they are. Things like that book I wanted to get so badly is there, swimming somewhere. Pk, piggy, colin choo, mahjong, dad, my hamsters.. I dont know. They suddenly kind of like, overwhelm my brain that I think they're pressing on my veins. My head's pounding.

I hate work, the pouches, the workload I have to face tomorrow. I'm gonna have to OT like, almost everyday next week and the thought of it makes me feel like crying. I dont wanna go to work. I dont wanna be a poucher. I dont want the money. Its burdening me with a hell lot of things. I cant depend on my mother anymore. I feel so young to start being independent. I'm just not up for it. Call me lousy, a loser, but I just cant. I'm sorry.

I feel so shitty now. I'm dampening everyone's spirits cause of my stupid PMS god damnit. Msn cant work either. Piggy's upset and its all my fault. My head's on the table, hearing the music beats and muffled voices.

Today's the most heartbreaking day ever. I'm crying in front of the fucking screen again for the god damn 3rd time in myl ife. I just feel like, crying the fuck out of my eyes and hope they'll bleed to death. I wish someone would dig my heart out then rip it into pieces cause it wouldnt hurt so much.

I feel like dying.