I've just returned from Giles' place and for some reason, it got me thinking about my life, my future and my past. Things have gotten so way off hand last time and seeing how happy V is with her boyfriend, I find it so hard to admit that one man's poison may be another man's meat. I guess this is how life works, things come only when you don't yearn for them.

My life was and still is filled with ups and downs from meeting Mr. Wrong, meeting Mr. Absolutely Wrong, and then comes my beloved Mr. Right. From where I stand, I'm able to see a bigger picture now and I must say, I do not regret meeting Mr. W. and Mr. A. W. one bit. For one thing, they've taught me valuable lessons that I've paid a high price for and another is that it just somehow led me to meeting my Mr. Right. Sounds so easy, yet a painful route to take, but I believe that fate brought us together and for that, I really do not regret anything I've done in my life.

Life now is definitely not meaningless. Its been so long since I've led my life day by day without any meaning hoping it would someday lead me to something exciting. Many things has happened since last year of living on the 'day-by-day' basis and I've come to realise that it is just not easy to survive in the future. My dream car, house, life - all so hard to reach, yet I can only work harder now and hope that I have a future. Then again, being materialistic isn't everything anymore. Money seems less important compared to the things I love, and I'm glad that money isn't the ruler of my heart. My job as a waitress doesn't earn me much, but it's so fulfilling yet rich in experience. A simple smile from a customer can warm my heart and even a thank you can pull my spirits up for the entire day. Being in citibank was a total chore. Even though it was not as tiring as being a waitress and earns you so much money, the feeling of achievement just isn't there. The tasks keep coming and running that you just have to keep up. So what if it earns you money? The money doesn't even cover up 1/1000 for the experience and the feeling of achievement that you're losing out on.

The word 'future' to me sounds so frightening, yet I wonder what secret it holds from me. Would I be able to complete the courses I'm taking in 2 years time? Would I become a chef? Am I going away to further my studies? Things just keep running through my mind and I can only say, I have to work hard for whatever outcome I want to get. This gives me the determination to work harder next sem, and I am hoping I'll up my GPA, reaching closer to my target, 4.

All I want in the future is a stable job, a small house that I've earned with my own blood and sweat, and of course, my beloved Giles by my side. That's more than I can ask for.