oh my gosh.
after a rough day yesterday,
i had a GREAT day today.
to make up for my 'loss' of happiness yesterday.

i hung out with uncle and weichan today.
i had sooo many surprises from them(:
thank you.
all of you.
even jinting.
:D
the fact that you guys thought of me when i wanted something is just so..
pretty(:
shaun also:D
thanks for all the pokemon things(:
i hope you'll pass them to me soooon.
i cant wait:D

hahaha. thanks guys for the care and concern.
including hanbing, who was so nice to let me thrash.
haha.
thanks so much for everything.
the surprises,
the fun,
the care
and most importantly,
the thought(:

im back from beijing guys and anyone who is intending to go there.
DONT GO.
it sucks.
seriously.
i love singapore.
i love the weather here.
i love the hot sun.
i love the fact that the toilets are super clean.
i love the fact that i need to only wear one layer of clothing to keep warm.
i just love singapore.

i hate china because the people there are inconsiderate.
i hate china because the people there smoke anywhere they want to, as if trying to kill everyone on earth.
i hate china because the traffic there is so horrible i think every few minutes, there'll be a car accident.
i hate china because the GIRLS there are rude.
i hate china because the GIRLS there SPIT in the airport.
i hate china because the air is so darn polluted it smells of smoke.
i hate china because WOMEN just pull down the pants of their little ones and make them pee at the corner of the buildings in a busy road.
i hate china because the people there dont lock their doors before doing their business.
i hate china because the food there is either too bland or too salty.
i hate china because everything there are all immitations.
i hate china because its so bloody cold that even 5 layers - 1 inner wear, 3 wool clothings, coat and underwear, cant even keep me warm.
i hate china because my closest ones arent there.

conclusion.
i love singapore.
i hate china.
(:

anyway, i'm really tired.
i mean, i slept good.
i wished my ravaged asshole good luck today.
i think i passed all my luck away.
cause i kept dying in the game, and i had the bottle cap scratch my leg,
my brother's books crush my foot.
the water dripping on my pants as if i peed in them.
me elbowing the pillar by accident.

gosh.
i hope my ravaged asshole uses the luck well.
if not i'll be 'suffering' in vain.
hahaha.

tonight, im flying to BEIJING.
i'm really upset.
i have to leave so many of my loved ones behind):
bye all)):
i'll miss my poor boy.
LOL:D

from today onwards at 7pm, DO NOT MESSAGE MY ____9388 number cause it'll be brought to china.
hah.
i'll be back on the 26th so.
I'LL MISS YOU GUYS)):
be good(:

anyway, this post is dedicated to the person who triggered me to say this.
and i cant say it via sms.
but.

its not that i dont want to help you.
or make you lose your dignity.
i know dignity is important to every guy.
but in cases such as this, i'm sure you'll know which must be set to your priority.
is it friendship or dignity.?
using another person's name doesnt help things.
so what if you know things about the other party.?
what does it do to improve the relationship.?
what would happen if the other party knows about this.?
i know we've done this countless times and it was almost easy to hide from everyone.
but seeing that example and comparing it to this, it is no different.
it'll just end up the way it did to the other.
and that would make me carry a guilt for life.

now all i can help you is to end this.
this mistake cannot drag on.
it has already happened once, i dont want it happening another time.
you think im immature, fine.
you think i dont understand things, fine.
you think i think im always right, fine.
perhaps you're right.
perhaps i am immature.
perhaps i dont understand things.
perhaps i think i'm always right.
so be it.
but you know, i'm doing all these for your own good.

for years i've always been there for you.
to listen to your problems.
hear you out.
but i never felt that i've gained your respect.
when you need me, HERE I AM.
when you dont, you disappear from my life.
the reason why i'm always there for you is because you've made a great impact in my life once.
and thats enough to make me be loyal to you always.

you may hate me, blame me.
if you want to take the shorter route, be my guest.
i will try not to cry like you told me not to.
but if you dont, think it again, and clear things out.
since i haven't been of much help to you.
since you've never listened to my advice.
since you've never believed in a word i say until you've checked it out.
my dear, if you're that capable, please dont torture me and work things out on your own.

life is filled with ups and downs.
and life is all about the challenges.
without challenges, life doesnt mean anything.
you dont learn anything.

when you fall, pick something from the ground.
learn something from it and never do it again.

when you're walking on the beach.
and you're blocked by a few boulders.
dont give up.
move them away, and continue you're journey.

thats what i want all of you to be.
thats what i want all of you to become.
please dont fall on the first obsticle.
you have already passed so many obsticles such as learning how to walk, cycle.
these things seem almost impossible to do when you're young.
now its just the same thing.
pick yourself up.
start again.
where have all the courage all of you had inside you, gone to.?

*some quoted from UNCLE.
*some quoted from DADDY.

i just want everyone happy.
i dont want to see unhappy people through my pink shades.

i'll miss you all, especially my poor boy.
study hard.
i'll call you before your exams(:

i came online tired, but happy, and i couldnt wait to blog.
but after what i've heard later on, i felt so..
taken aback.
god.
it was a joke.
i didn't even mean it.
and worse, it somehow spreaded to the person i didnt want to let him know off.
for that, it kind of sucks.
seriously.
so what am i gonna do now.?
am i not supposed to.. trust her.?
thats impossible.
i'll trust her with my life.
i cant even clear my name.
god.
that sucks.
seriously.
i think, i shouldnt tell jokes anymore.
yea. zip it amanda.
monolog ends*

ALRIGHT.
so here's what we did yesterday:D
early in the morning, right after my mother left, both my brother and i got up.
and rushed to get ready.
by 8.40, we're waiting at the bus stop for a certain individual.
hah.
anyway, uncle came and we set off:D
we met weichan later and set off to the beach:D

rented our blades except my bro.
who chose to save money by bringing his own.
and i didnt bring mine cause it was HEAVY)):

all of us were so stable(:
except THAT certain individual.
HAHAHA.
he looked stable at first.
but his clown movements later was so funny:D
when he loses balance, he'll wave his hands around, stomping like a mad elephant.
i should have taken a video of it, really));

we rested, and fetched jinting from the underpass with our blades on:D
headed to mac to have some coke and digestive choc biscuits(:
after resting for such a long time, we re-rented our blades while jinting rented hers
gosh.
she couldnt even get up.
let alone move.
but later that day, she could move and glide VERY well.
VERY GOOOD.!
we're so proud of her(:
we headed to the skating ring where we taught jinting how to blade, and uncle how to turn.
hahaha.
hug the tree uncle.!
:D
i know you love it ;)
also, he tried the figure 8, that we took at least 2 weeks to learn.
he was quite a fast learner(:
uncle practice more:D
its not easy, but when you do learn it, it'll come in handy at ANY situation:D

weichan was the best, just learning what she didnt know.
:D
my bro.
alrights. i dont even need to mention him.
his blading skills are better then all of us added up.
he even demo-ed to this old lady.
who found him very 'pro'
hahahaha.
he fell.
but he's good(:

we headed to the road to let jinting get a feel of everything.
also to head to the pull up bar ( someone's idea )
when jinting fell ><
worse..
amanda.
rolled.
over.
her.
middle.
finger.
..
im sorry ><
its more then 43 kg on that one.
it bled and it became so numb.
i'm feeling so guilty)):

so in the end, we helped her off her blades.
and my brother returned it with a 'speed of light' hah.
it started raining heavily after that.
and we were all caught in the rain.!
we're running,
with dripping wet clothes,
hair,
BUNNY BAG.
at first we were running aimlessly.
until we decided to run from dry spot to dry spot.
but it didnt lessen the amount of rain 'touching' us.
so we just ran again, since we cant get any wetter.
uncle crossed the grass patch.
everyone did so too.
what we didnt know was that.
the grass was soft and soggy.
it was muddy.
MUDDY.
my bro followed behind him.
uncle told him not to step on it.
he did.
and he totally shouted the 4 letter word ( hahaha. uncle heard it.! of all people )
followed by weichan,
who didnt hear his warning also.
she stepped in and screamed.
followed by me who did some high pitch squeak or something.
then jinting was last.
i heard this one.
her slipper got lost in the mud.
she took it out, and threw it on the road and walked to it
oh man.
the scene was totally hilarious.
we headed to the underpass.
and we had maria aka uncle, help us clean our foots:D
his only source of water was wasted on our precious feets.
haha.
in the end, he had nothing to drink.
aww uncle,
hahaha.
thanks for the 'sacrifice' x)

we headed to the bus stop and we left.
with wc and uncle following me.
uncle decided to stay at the bus stop outside my house to study a bit.
before taking the same bus with me and wc to yishun to have our hair cut(:
he even offered driving us there.
but erm.
i did wonder how he could do it.
since he's all dirty. :D
he didnt in the end.

when me and weichan were all washed up, we met him.
he was shivering and all.
awww.
my poor boy:D
me and weichan tried blocking wind from blowing towards him and we reached the bus stop and sat.
talked,
took some pictures ( why arent they with me)): )
he left later,
and wc and i slept in the bus.
we reached north point.
and we had our hair cut:D
how can they mess my hair)):
the lady who did it:D
smile smile:D
my hair.!!
oh man.
hahaha.
weichan:D
her thick hair.!
lookie(:
they decided to straighten her hair.
fat hair:D
see see(:

my superman-indian style after washing my hair.
my mama steaming her hair:D
weichan's hair:D
we saw this.
UNCLE TIDBITS:D

after my cut(:
CHINA GIRL.
hahaha
weichan LOVES her hair.
both of us looking GOOD.

we had sake in the end, my mother's treat:D
we parted with each other at about 10.
hahaha.
13 hrs of being together.
i hope days like that never EVER ends.

the world through my pink shades(:

hah.
yesterday was such a GREAT DAY.

i hung out with uncle and weichan yesterday, main purpose was to HELP UNCLE STUDY FOR HIS FINALS.
i guess he DID, a little.
a small bit.
but i guess thats a good achievement already:D

anyway, i got there LATE again, as usual.
im so sorry)):
monday i WILL be punctual ><
anyway, just as we stepped into orchard mrt and as uncle came over.
he didnt even get a chance to say hi.
when a lady approached us,
handing out a card to uncle going,
'hi. im from a model agency. we're looking for handsome guys.'
HAHAHAHA.
when i heard the words 'model agency', immediately i looked at uncle with this huge GRIN on my face ( im sure i did. i couldnt see myself. but i know i was OVERJOYED(: )
he laughed and we all did.
she asked for our numbers.
uncle kept telling her he isnt interested but she kept pressing so he did.
and next she came over to us and went like,
GIRLS TOO. BOTH OF YOU(:
she approached weichan first,
handing out her card and asking for her name and number.
she gave her a fake name, sheryl.
HAHAHA. smart(: i wasnt very smart in the end)
She came over to me, and she gave me such a..
scary..
impression..
i almost died LAUGHING.
she went like.
HEY. YOU'RE SO PRETTY.
*looks up and down*
WOW. CAN I HAVE YOUR NAME AND NUMBER.?
seriously, i couldnt stop laughing.
it was hilarious. i gave her.
we left to our next destination(:
UNCLE'S MAMA'S CLINIC(:
we got into mount elizabeth hospital and as we went up via lift,
i had the butterflies in my stomach.!
not only caused by the lift,
but probably caused by the nervous-ness of it all.
outside the clinic, i was holding weichan's hand sooo tight she told me not to.
all of the sudden, i had such a bad urge to dance around and singing.
and worse, i allowed this urge to take control of me.
i started singing I WANNA HOLD YOUR HANDD and waving my arms in an idiotic manner. god.
if uncle's mama saw that.
she'll probably try to treat me also.
as we waited, i stared through the glass door and OHH MY.
there are so many crazy people waiting to be treated.!
haha. i tried being one in front of weichan but it only made her laugh.
we made funny faces to scare uncle who was inside the clinic.
i am so sure those mad people inside there think that we need more help than they do.

his mama came out later, and boy.
i almost shitted in my pants.
she said hi.
and after that, i realised that HEY. SHE'S SO NICE:D
she reminds me of my primary school principal.
heh.
anyway, we had a chat and she left back to work.
and even before she left ( i didnt know.! ) i said soo loudly,
HEY. YOUR MAMA'S SO NICE:D
whoooops.
my bad.
oh and comments from his mama was good too:D
his mama found me nice(:
YAY.
and his mama said that i have bright eyes(:
which shows intelligence ( really.? )
but she feels that i may have ADHD,
which needs to be treated.
and the reason why im in bedok north is probably cause i cant concentrate in class ( heh. bingo.! )
i must say,
his mama is good.
but uncle, i'm not leaving you out.
you're good too ok.
HEH. :D
be a good boy la, study hard(:

we walked out of the hospital and as i was talking to uncle about my cousin,
SHE APPEARED.
whoa. this is darn cool, seriously.
heh.
later, we went to lucky plaza to get my sillicon for my ipod because i refuse to touch my ipod and hold it around without the box if its not protected.
i saw a couple of shops selling those.
but darn, its so expensive.
15 bucks, 18 bucks.
aunties.
i only have 20 bucks to spend.
roar.
i think i should really watch what i say, because i always badmouth those stall vendors IN THEIR STALL.
seriously, kick that habit amanda.

we didnt find any so we headed to orchard library(:
so that uncle can have someone staring at him while studying.
HEH
he WAS a good boy(:
before he started, we all saw this tv showing how animals died.
and i refused to see anything anymore.
weichan, however,
kept telling me what she saw.!
everytime she sees something gruesome, she'll go. OH MY SHIT.
with that disgusted face.
and just by judging her face, i got damn scared.
i tried not to look at her in the end.

i read the time traveller's wife, and hey,
im getting the hang of it now.
though i still dont know what is actually going on,
but it seems like quite a good book.
haha.
thanks uncleee.
weichan read her other book, and around 1.50,
we left to eat.
i had no idea how hungry i was until we reached PS after so much walking.
i think my energy was used up walking.
i just know it.

we ate at MANHATTAN FISH MARKET.
uncle and i ordered fish and chips. and gawd. the fish is so SOFT.
i mean. seriously.
amanda doesnt enjoy fish at all.
but DAMN.
this one kept me wanting more and more.!
the fries were sooo brilliant. i can almost taste it by thinking of it.
weichan ordered some prawns. and gawd.
the fire was impressive.
they had some fire extinguisher looking thing.
and they started cooking it in front of us.!
no pictures taken, but we took the end result.

did you just hear my stomach growl after looking at this.?

we took a picture to remember this memorial day:D
yay. overjoyed.

right. we finished our lunch and uncle paid for it ( yay. thanks uncle.! )
and later, we shopped around for jinting's present
:D:D
we found one later, which seriously, is very VERY cute:D

as we shopped, we headed into this beautiful PINK shop.
god.
the pink-ness of it all, made me feel as if im in heaven.
i walked in, saw all those princess-ies stuff and hey.
guess who's my model.?
:D
look.!
this is soooo pretty on uncle(:
i am an angel(:
HAHAHA.
princess weichan with pink aura(:

GOOFY AMANDA
why do i always ALWAYS screw my faces.?

so much shopping, so many BALL BALL encounters.
hahahaha.
it was so exciting yesterday.
but my stomach ruined it when i felt so bloated i felt pregnant.
it was so hard to move about so we headed to burger king to get some coke to burp that shit out of my stomach.
uncle tried taking unglam photos of me.
but HEY
i have unglam photos of HIM:D
HAHAHA.
you took this on your own uncle.!
its. DISTORTED.
HAHAHAHAHA.
i LOVE it(:
a straw long face:D
this is considered cool.?
ok fine, better than those on top:D

it did in the end, but it wasnt the ultimate weapon.

the weapon that didnt have me burping, making me so unglam on the streets was blue and white.
furry and soft.
it was.
A PACHI.
I SAW A PACHI OK.
I WANTED IT SO MUCH.
it was in a display and i was jumping.!
PACHI PACHI.!
uncle and weichan were lamed by my action.
and i was searching frantically for it.
until i saw it.!
DEEP DOWN BELOW.
A PACHI LAYED DORMANT.
i dug and dug, the rest of the boxes about to drop.
uncle supported those boxes and the heat from the lights hurt him)):
sorry uncle.!
another box at the end dropped, and weichan picked it for me.
thanks weichan x)
she is ALWAYS picking up boxes everytime i find some pokemon item.
heh.

toilet break.!
it was hilarous.
in the toilet.
weichan kept complaining that she has ONE layer of fats.
damn.
i have 3.
OKAY.
and the ladies in the toilet were looking at her with this disgusted face.
until she realised that one layer is so little.
people around her probably had more than 3 and they're not complaining.
hahaha.
we went in together, came out together.
rushed out of the toilet together, back-tracked the toilet together to dry our hands together.
doing the same movements together.
seriously, we're soo cool.
its as if we're twins(:

that night, amanda went home happy, with a pachi in her bag.
that night, amanda went home with these sweet memories in her head(:
how nice yesterday was, i hope life like this never ends(:

pachi pachi:D
pachi(:

anyway, these are my bruises from my previous fall.
my left knee.
it almost looks as if its rotting.
the back of my left knee, the place that hurt so bad it made me limp for 3 days.
my right knee.
i knocked this on the table when i was trying to get the phone.
damnit.

im done packing my room.
look at those stacks of papers ( and books maybe. if i dont retain )
I NEED A GARANG ( ? ) GUNI (?! ) MAN.
i need to sell these.
i need MONEY(:

hi all(:
its been such a wonderful week for me.
monday i was so depressed over the fact that my mom took my freedom from me ( as well as my ipod )
but after that, the rest of the week's been GREAT.
tuesday i had shaun and weichan come over my house:D
we had great fun.
i totally did not deprive them from the computer, my xbox and of course.
THE TOILET.
hah.
but well, we had fun, especially when THEY tried SPIKING my hair.
damnit.
ok a typo.
THEY had fun.
not WE.
cause i certainly didnt.!
i felt as if im gonna have HALF of my hair left after the damn thing)):
oh damn, somehow my stupid card STILL tells me its copyrighted and i cant get the pictures out.
ok i shall explain.
first, they made my hair.
into one LONG and TALL spike.
and IT STOOD.
i tell you.
IT STOOD.
another one was even longer, curled BUT.
IT STOOD TOO.
damn.
the wax must be DAMN powerful.
hah.
later, we had our fun and we spiked shaun's hair.
HAH.
but, being the nice me, i didnt screw it.
i made it look better OKAY.
see.
i'm a nice girl(:

anyway, on wednesday, i had so much fun in the beach.
we bladed and OH BOY
was it so bad.
we rented our skates and there was a slope to head to the main road.
shaun didnt know how to blade.
me and weichan didnt know what to do.
so i was holding him behind, trying to balance and stop him from slipping and falling when..
he was unbalanced.
i suddenly felt the brakes behind my right shoe.
its just so weird to have it there.
i never had it.
the first day i learnt blading, i had it removed.
i slipped and fell, making shaun unstable.
i fell on my right butt.
the best part.?
shaun FELL ON ME.
on my left leg.
haha. i dont blame him.
i slipped and probably pulled him by instinct.
i got up when he got up, and he got down the slope safely.
i taught him how to skate a little, he was GREAT.
he learnt the things i learnt in a MONTH.
later after skating, we decided to head to the beach.
i had sea water on all my wounds.
dad said it'll be better, i recall.
i had a scratch on my left knee, in front.
cause i fell when i slipped when i was blading too fast.
i rubbed sea water on it.
when suddenly, i felt stings at the back of my right leg.
i looked and OH GOD.
i had POLKA DOTS ON THEM.
i realised that DAMN.
it was the first fall that shaun fell on me.
and the sand probably did it.
i stared in horror.
rubbed more water on it.
later, we sat on the rocks and admire the sky, sea, ships.
it was time to go off, i took my bunny bag.
as i walked, my bunny's legs kept hitting the back of my left leg's knee.
it stinged.
i started.
holy shit.
its ANOTHER bruise.
and this one SWELLED.
i realised that DAMN.
it was cause shaun sat on it and it probably strained.
i couldnt even straighten my legs out till now.
hhahaha.
this sucks, but i want to go blading again during one of the weekends.
(:
enjoyable, but back looking more purple-ish.
hah.
pictures :
the artist ( me )
the picture(:
a clearer view.
a beautiful sight.
the right way up(:



today, we were supposed to have an interview at ritz calton, a hotel.
uncle, weichan, jinting and me were dressed smartly, looking at our best.
we went in, and i felt the shivers down my spine.
damn.
this place is GRAND.
we waited at the customers' service counter.
before i could reach there, jinting tripped over the carpet, and it flipped, and i tripped too.
in the end, we had to kick it back to position, which was TOTALLY EMBARRASSING, since this place was supposed to be filled with high class people.
gah.
i tried looking high class ok.
i just suck being one.
hah.
i couldnt control my laughter, i played around.
which made the eyes around me stare.
damn, i need to carry myself a bit more..
serious.
thats it.
serious.
in the end, we didnt get an interview cause me and weichan didnt bring our bankbooks.
i mean, my mom's just crazy.
she doesnt allow me to have my bank book cause she thinks ritz calton will con me.
RITZ CALTON.
CON ME.
hahahahahaha.
what a laugh.

we headed to marina square later to pool but damn.
this stupid old uncle was so hardworking.
he found out weichan and jinting were a month away from their birthdays by calculating the years and months with a calculator.
brilliant maths old uncle(:

then, just because of this old man, we had to make our way to lucky plaza, to start our game.
and boy was it fun.!!
jinting was getting so much better.
weichan with style.
uncle was playing like a maths pro(hah)
and amanda was playing like a noob.
hhaha.
but well, it was FUN.
i hope life will be like this forever.
i hope this will never stop even if i get into poly.
next year)):
a picture we took, with the help of a stand, and my phone's timer.
look how formal we are:D
a better one, but im like. so FAR away)):

I'M GETTING MY IPOD TOMORROW.
YAY.!
LUQMAN IM GETTING IT:D

23.
another.
hah((:

sometimes.
you feel as if you've gotten the world in your hands.
the world you've always wanted to have.
when suddenly, just before you can do anything to it.
it crashes on the floor.
breaking into millions of heart-breaking pieces.
piercing and stinging the people around you.

sometimes.
its better if you never had that world before.
before it breaks the hearts of people around you.
before it breaks YOUR own heart.
before it kills YOU.

everything happens for a reason.
and mine happened because of me.
and because of me.
i've killed the many hearts around me.
this pain alone is enough to drown me.
worse.
i've killed my own.

sup yo.
tomorrow's my LAST day of my O levels.
HAH.
and FINALLY, i can get my FREEDOM.
PLUS.
i saw something in my house yesterday:D
it all started when my bro came downstairs and said.
jie.
mummy told me something.
it may be something happy or sad to you.
first thought, CLICK.
ITS MY IPOD ISNT IT.
no it isnt.
ITS NOT.!?
nope.
hmmmm.
and after trying to force the shit out of him, i gave up and went to the SOURCE of INFORMATION : my MOTHER.
man.
i think i know where my acting skills ( of say, crying like a baby, a DOG. bah ) came from.
MY MOTHER.
she kept acting and kept going like.
what did i tell your brother.?
i dont know.
and i tried to force the SHIT out of her and it didnt work
went to her bed and slumped on it when.
suddenly.
i.
saw.
THE.
LIGHT.
right in front of me was the holy..
IPOD.
MUHAHAHAHAHA>=)
it was WHITE.
best of all.
80 GB, entirely NEW.
WAITING FOR ME.
i touched the plastic and suddenly, i felt a SURGE of energy rush through me.
THIS.
IS.
WHAT.
I.
WANT.
SO.
BAD.
heh.
and i think, im exaggerating:D
mama said i can only use it after tomorrow.
AFTER TOMORROW.
AFTER TOMORROW.
AFTER TOMORROW.
yay.
:D

oh and, theres this stupid dog somewhere across the street HOWLING, YELPING, BARKING and CRYING as if it was hung on the wall by a pin or something.
i hope it stops though.
its gotten the dogs from the ENTIRE street barking to it.
gees.
something's wrong with that nut.

HOLY CRAP
IS IT JUST ME.
OR DID I HEAR.
AVA
ON
987
HOME.?!

right.
anyway, i've just totally fell in love with this band called, TOKIO HOTEL.
this german band formed when they were only 12 years old, with bill kaulitz as the vocalist and his twin brother, tom kaulitz, they made it quite big in germany.
and DAMN.
i love bill's sense of STYLE.

he first started out his hair like THIS.
i find this hair BRILLIANT.
it makes him look like the all small and innocent boy with punk piercings and all.
contradiction.?
sometimes he DOES look like a girl huh.
fine jinting, i forgive you.


look. when they were just kids((:
then there's the spiked hair.

like this, or this one.
i really prefer it more flat, like this one.


the entire band((:
the one with the long hair is bill's twin, tom.
look at the difference.
hah.

im flattered, really i am.
but somehow i feel that i dont deserve all these love, these praises.
i'm just that ordinary.